Are You the Success-Type Personality?

June 27, 2013 Mental balance

successOne of the things Dr. Maxwell Maltz deals with in his book Psycho-Cybernetics is success. When we feel down we should stop and take a close look at ourselves. Here’s a short checkup list that might be leading us towards success or the opposite direction, if we lack some of these personality traits. Dr. Maltz presents the ingredients of a success-type personality as 7 words which compose the very word SUCCESS:

Sense of direction – Our life is balanced as long as we have a goal to reach. Otherwise, we feel unhappy and aimless, without a clue about what we really want or what success means to us. Dr Maltz compares this with a bicycle which maintains poise and equilibrium provided it is heading forward.

Understanding – Understanding depends on good communication, which is vital for the functionality of any system. Many of our failures in human relations are caused by all sort of misunderstandings. To avoid it, we should try to be more empathic – ask ourselves “how would the other feel about this?/ how does he/she see it?”We have to understand reality as it is, avoid faulty information, accept our errors and correct them on the way to our goal.

Courage – Courage completes the first two ingredients. Having a goal and a correct understanding of reality would get us nowhere if we don’t have the courage to act. Sometimes it can be very difficult to make a move because we are afraid of failure. Dr Maltz says that the willingness to take a risk can make the difference between a successful person and an average person. It’s not even important if we go in the wrong direction, as our internal mechanism gets us back on track as we go. In other words, just do it and you will get there eventually.

Charity – Charity towards the others, respect for their feelings and needs is also a sign that we accept reality. We cannot treat people as tools. Once we recognize everyone is a unique person whom we should treat with respect we will form a more adequate self image.

Esteem – Having a low self esteem is one of the worst forms of self-sabotage. It induces negative feelings and the idea that we are not capable of achieving anything, that we don’t deserve anything. The secret of self-esteem is to start by appreciating others. We are extraordinary unique beings and we don’t have to be afraid to recognize our value.

Self – confidence – Confidence comes from the experience of success. Instead of letting our failures discourage us we should focus on our successes. Success will breed other successes, thus building self confidence. The more we remember our best moments and the feelings we had then, the more likely we are to have other success experiences in the future.

Self-acceptance - Real success and happiness cannot be accomplished without accepting ourselves. Pretending to be something we are not costs us a lot of energy and makes us unhappy. Once we come to accept ourselves with our strengths and weaknesses we can release all our abilities, talents and powers. One common mistake is not being able to differentiate our “self” and our “behavior”. When we make a mistake, we say WE are not capable of doing anything right. This is completely wrong: our failures are not “us” but only something we have done. We simply have to accept that we are not perfect and not hate ourselves because of this.

As always, one step at a time is the best policy. Remember that miracles don’t happen overnight but they just might happen after a while.